A Reliable THC Discrimination Test: The Pot Monkey!

A couple of weeks ago, I made the trip to Raleigh, NC to speak on behalf of all of us hemp stakeholders who have not been inducted into an organization represented by a lobbyist and want to explore growing and/or selling hemp products. The NC State Bureau of Investigation had cited several issues with the legalization of ‘smokable hemp flowers,’ and wanted the herb banned. This is contrary to the federal government having legalized unprocessed hemp flowers.

In my speech I shared some research. West Virginia’s law enforecement’s officer, Mr. Michael Smith, relayed, “We approach it like an open container law and distinguish between alcohol and non-alcholholic beer- with common sense.” WV uses a civilian lab to test for the presence of THC and if it is present, it is then sent to a third-party lab for sensitive quantitative level testing. This is logical and because unprocessed hemp flower and unprocessed marijuana flower look exactly alike, the law’s right for reasonable search is present and should be respected accordingly. This should be law.

However, the NCSBI wants a roadside type test that offers immediate results. I have worked day and night and have finally discovered the test to solve all parties’ concerns!

It is so easy, a deputy can administer the test. This THC testing technique utilizes close relatives of humans – without injury or long term effects. In fact, Pot Monkeys will enjoy their role in the hemp industry/law enforcement division.

A suggested name for this new department is SOCK-IT-TO-ME, to honor mankinds’ relationship with monkeys and its decades old practice of exploitation, for example, the hyterical Sock Monkey. The Sock Monkey has been mishandled, stretched out of shape, tortured, and tossed into the garbage across America by endolent brats and their parents.

Now, humans can take pride in knowing that not only will monkeys, like canines, be employed and earn wages with retirement benefits, medical and dental, and burial privledges, and experience new adventures daily to promote thriving — monkeys will enjoy their jobs!

SOCK-IT-TO-ME Protocol: When THC levels are undetermined, officers of the law unbuckle Pot Monkey from his seat in the passenger’s side and simply ask, “Ready to roll?” The officer hands the undocumented flower bud to the Pot Monkey and it rolls a joint. [Due to safety protocol, the officer must ignite the joint, following strict SOCK-IT-TO-ME safety protocol.] The officer instructs the Pot Monkey to stand back 15 feet so any drifting THC smoke will not influence the officer.

The officer takes photos of each step. See photo 1.

Photo 1.

Photo 1.  Low THC is Hemp = no reaction

See Photo 2.



Photo 2. High THC is Marijuana = a reaction

This new program needs funding. Please send check, money order, or use PayPal to send donations today.

The Pot Monkey – the answer to distinguishing low THC when common sense is not enough.

Have a great day!

Your CBD Watchdog

References

Photo https://boardgamegeek.com/thread/1158752/there-way-clean-cigarette-smoke-smell-game-and-gam/page/2

gaumedup@gmail.com

2 thoughts on “A Reliable THC Discrimination Test: The Pot Monkey!

  1. Thanks for the laugh.

    Laurie

    Like

    1. You are so welcome. Sometimes the pressure is too much and the monkey escapes the barrel! LOL!

      Like

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